"why do people choose between pepsi and coke, they both taste the same"
*boy doesn’t respond to my text* god damn it boys are so fckin unreliable im swearing them off for good this time #nofuckboys2014
*boy responds 5 minutes later* omg boys are so cute i love them 😍 choke me with ur dick
rushing to copy ur friends homework because theres no more time
eyebrows are not twins, they’re sisters; sometimes, in fact, they’re distant relations bearing only a passing resemblance, meeting each other after years in an unrelated social situation and uncomfortably pretending they don’t know each other