shinethelight-x:

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house

i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police

OH MY GOD 

(via painterpeeta)

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

(via christianmingle)

babyferaligator:

haha loser look at you sitting all by yourself at lunch
but mom Im homeschooled

(via painterpeeta)

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

(via ottorocketkid)